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Just venting a bit [Dec. 14th, 2008|01:08 am]
[mood |frustratedTwenty paths diverge in a wood]

There is nothing I hate more than not knowing my own mind. I still can't decide where I would like life to take me after graduation in May. I don't know if the graduate schools I am applying to will take me to a career I want or if the jobs I can apply for are ones that I would enjoy. I have never felt this restless. I always feel restless at the end of the semester, more so when that semester means the end of a chapter in my life. The end of this semester with the end of my four year degree staring at me is making me feel very lost. Even smaller decisions than where will I be headed for the rest of my life seem insurmountable some days.

I'm not sad or depressed or anything...just so damn frustrated I could SCREAM some days. Something is going to snap and change soon, I can tell. It's like a string on a guitar that is tuned too tightly. It won't be big, but it will remove the pressure. I am very aware that it is all self imposed pressure, an imagined weight of the future on my shoulders. Everyone has to make decisions like this, I just wish life was easy.

[User Picture]From: nanashi_jones
2008-12-15 06:37 am (UTC)
The fact that you are aware of these thoughts and addressing them this early is a great sign. A sign of what, I don't know as the answers can only come from you. But you're ahead of the curve in realizing this shit and being early on the uptake never hurts too bad.

Screaming works though. Stand in a big field or park at night and just howl. Did it a few times myself- good release.
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